This article has been inspired from a brilliant song lyric in a favourite Bliss n Eso song of mine called Reflections. I love the positivity with which they write many of their songs, and their attitude is a very similar one to mine - that anything is possible with determination and a positive mindset. A very refreshing message, especially within rap and hip-hop songs. Here is the lyric in question which has inspired this whole train of thought:
"We'll grow our grass greener than that other side will ever be."
It might seem fairly innocuous on the surface but the gravity of it really hits home when you start thinking a little deeper on it.
Most people will have heard the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side" which, to break it down simply, means that everything always looks better than what we currently have. This is a very negative view of the world and one that I cannot subscribe to. I do not care what is on the other side and I certainly do not have a desire to keep up with anyone called Jones, but that is a story for another time.
The lyric "We'll grow our grass greener than that other side will ever be" is the perfect summation of the attitude I adhere to and encourage in life.
Focus on Yourself
Can you control the fact that your neighbour has better grass? No, but you can work on your own grass to make it the best it can possibly be. By the way, in case you wondered when this blog turned to gardening and lawn-care, we're not really talking about grass here - we're talking about our how we live our lives in general.
There is no benefit to be had analysing and comparing yourself to others because they are outside your boundary of control. You cannot control what happens in the lives of others. You can try to influence them but in the long run they will ultimately think, feel, and act whichever way they want.
Realising that you cannot control others is an important step to achieving happiness because the result is that you put more value on your own actions rather than the actions of others. When you stop comparing yourself to others you can focus on being the absolute best that you can be. Not to mention all the energy and time you save that would have been wasted stressing about how green someone else's grass is.
Logically, The Grass Can Not Always Be Greener
If you still want to worry about the grass of others then let me appeal to your sense of logic. If the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side then it makes sense for you to be envious of your neighbour's grass. However, from your neighbours perspective you are the other side and thus your grass must be greener than theirs. Rinse and repeat this process until your head spins.
There is no logical sense behind the statement that "the grass is always greener on the other side". It is just an excuse people use for their actions when they put too much focus on what other people have or do rather than the their own life.
The other illogical aspect of that silly statement is that whatever you have in your life is way more important that what others have in theirs. This is true simply because whatever is going on in your life is important within your personal frame of reference. Other people's lives are occurring within their own frame of reference (or their version of reality) and things that are important there are not necessarily important in yours.
Fertilizer, Fertilizer, Fertilizer!
To grow your own grass to the best that you can you need to fertilize it! In a metaphorical sense. I am definitely not encouraging you to bring more crap in to your life.
But to continue this grass growing metaphor the best thing you can do is to provide the best conditions for your grass to grow. That means that you need to focus on your own grass, nurture it, and encourage its growth.
Yes, I am still talking about how to live your life (and not about gardening). Take stock of your current life and be thankful for everything positive. Focus yourself on growing the best damn grass you can and forget about what is going on next door. If you still think that you absolutely must compare yourself to someone then use a past version of yourself. Compare how far you have traveled mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally and how much greener your grass has grown.
Remember it's your life so only your grass matters. Go make it green!